Tender Mercies

Life is back to normal...whatever that means. I'm healthy, exercising occasionally, and have all my energy back.

I felt a need to write about some interesting experiences I've had this past weekend. It started with hearing of a tragedy with so many unanswered questions and the heartache that comes from the unexplained. Why did we experience this loss, why did I have a child die, why did I lose my job right after I bought a large home, or any of the other questions we might have in life. The tragedy I learned about and the questions asked haunted me throughout the day as I wondered is it better to ask or to accept. Is there a way to do both? Can asking and questioning truly bring peace? I'm not sure there is a right answer. But I know that acceptance will always bring peace. Every time.

Eric just finished his last weekend of his MBA program. Hooray!!! I got to spend the weekend with him and his classmates at Sundance Resort for a final wrap up of the program. At the dinner on Friday night we sat next to a couple who I learned experienced the tragedy of losing their parents in a terrible RV crash in Southern Utah at the end of May when Eric and his classmates were all abroad on their Foreign Business Trips. I learned that this man was asked to take over his father-in-law's company when he returned. He spoke for a few minutes during the evenings program about how going back to school has been such a great opportunity for him. I sat there and thought about how he was being prepared to take over this company.

The next afternoon I was speaking with the wife and my miscarriage came up as she found out how often Eric and I talked while he was out of the country and how we were able to face time everyday. Since internet access was expensive and not always easily accessible she asked why we did this. I told her I was very sick when Eric left and he was worried about leaving me. He wanted to see me to make sure I was getting more color in my face. As we talked about the experience and I shared with her all the parts I was grateful for, I told her my thoughts on how her husband was being prepared for their tragedy. She looked at me surprised and expresses how blessed she has felt and all the tender mercies of the Lord that she has see through this difficult experience. She gave me a hug and thanked me for understand. She told me how she felt most people found her heart less or strange for not being devastated for losing her parents when they were still so young. "I've cried many tears and it has been a challenge, but I know that we were prepared for this experience."

Later that night Eric and I were reading the article A Time of Faith, Not Fear in this months Ensign by Elder Larry W. Gibbons. A small section fit so well with the thoughts both of us have been having. "I will always remember sitting in the front room of the home of my closest friend two days after he passed away at a relatively young age. His wife and son were in the room, along with a striking feeling of absolute peace and calm despite the sorrow."

This true deep peace only comes from an understanding of the Plan of Salvation and the peace and comfort of keeping the sacred covenants we make at baptism and in the temple of our God. How grateful I am for the peace and calm that Eric and I have experienced through our many mini "tragedies" of life. We feel so blessed to be an eternal family and to know that God's plan for us is always greater than our own.

This week is a week of big changes for our family. Eric finished school and was released from his calling. We are living in a home full of boxes preparing for our big move on Wednesday to a small townhouse in Murray just minutes from our lot. We are nervous, sad, excited and full of hope as we move on to this new adventure.